What can you do to persuade your parents to let you study what you want?
Have you ever wondered “How can I convince my parents to let me study what I want?”
Do you relate with any of the below statements?
- My parents won’t let me study what I want.
- They don’t want me to study what I want at university.
- My parents want me to study something I hate.
- They don’t support my dreams/career choice.
If you agree with any of the above, let’s just get into the article right away!
Whether you have tried convincing your parents (but it didn’t work) or you haven’t tried convincing them yet, this guide will help you for sure.
My story of how I convinced my strict and traditional Indian parents to pursue what I want in University:
Parents can be very difficult to manage. We love and respect them but sometimes it might be frustrating when they simply don’t understand us. I wanted my parents’ full support in the university degree I wanted to pursue. I also wanted it to be decision I will not regret in my life. So, it has been tough trying to figure myself out and understanding myself, my interests etc.
My parents, on the other hand, had specific wishes in mind. They wanted me to do medicine as any typical Indian parent would! When I expressed my clear disinterest, they gave me another choice: engineering.
I have been studying in a math & science school for 6 years and if there was one thing I learnt… it was that I hate math and science. So, I was really hesitant to accept the options my parents gave me. They were indeed “safe” degrees that guarantee job security. But I really did not want to spend my 4 years studying something I didn’t enjoy.
I wanted to counter my parents’ options with what I want to do instead. But I didn’t even know what I liked and what exactly I wanted to pursue! I didn’t know what my interests are!
I will be writing about how I FINALLY found my passion and a helpful guide you can follow. If you don’t want to miss out on such blogposts, join the mail list!!
Anyways, I was finally able to discover my passion and I was starting to get surer of what I really want to pursue. The next step was to have the TALK with my parents. This is exactly how I did it and I hope you find this “guide” useful!
1. Research more about the degree you want to pursue in college
It is important to know what exactly you want in the first place. There is no point going up to your parents to tell them you don’t want to accept their options without having an alternative in mind. You have to research enough to be confident of the alternative you are proposing too. It will be good if you can write pros and cons for the degree you want to do.
Preparation shows that you are keen and committed, and trust me, showing your commitment is one of the best ways to impress them.
2. Research about the degree your parents want you to study
Ask yourself why you don’t want to do whatever your parents are insisting.
Make sure that you are not just saying no for the sake of going against your parents!!
Give those options your parents are suggesting a chance. Research about them and write down their pros and cons. There must be a good reason why your parents want you to study them. So, feel free to learn more about the degree, career prospects, curriculum etc.
Learning about these also help you explain to your parents better on why you would not like to study what they are suggesting. “I just don’t want to” is not a good enough reason. To make a stronger argument, you will need to research on it.
3. Prepare answers for the questions you predict your parents may ask you.
While some of the questions your parents may throw at you might anger or offend you, you should never turn it into an argument. To help you keep your cool, you have to predict those questions and plan an answer to them beforehand.
“I don’t think there are good career prospects for this degree…”
>> this is where your research comes in. tell them about the job prospects (bonus: success stories of alumni who have pursued that degree)
“How are you sure that this course will be suitable for you?”
>> this is where you compare the characteristics of this degree and yourself and how you believe that this degree will be a good match for your interests.
“This course is so expensive.”
>> give them the confidence that it will be a worthy investment with several long-term benefits
“This degree is not as respectable and honourable as Medicine”
>> tell them that studying something “respectable” is not a priority for you and explain why. This is the time you talk about what you actually prioritise when it comes to a college degree and career.
4. How to present your PITCH to your parents to convince them?
Now that you have prepared yourself content-wise, it is time for the PITCH.
You have the raw content ready, but you will have to organise and order your points so that you will be able to communicate your ideas clearly and effectively.
This is where you can let yourself be creative *wink*
There’s nothing wrong with a good ol’ sit-down-and-chat discussion. That’s what I did. However, if you want to take it a step further you can do the following:
- Make a PowerPoint presentation with evidence, statistics and facts
- Make a Video
- It can be just you talking (Youtuber style)
- It can be animated or just focus on the information being presented in a fun way.
- Write an essay
Whatever you choose to do, show your enthusiasm and passion. Just have fun it 🙂
6. To persuade your parents to let you study what you want, structure your arguments better
You would have learnt this at school but let me remind you in case you forgot:
Ethos is about establishing your authority to speak on the subject
Eg. suggest a few education experts on education that support your points
Logos is your logical argument for your point.
Eg. mention statistics of the amount of college fees your parents can save by going with the degree you want.
Pathos is your attempt to sway an audience emotionally.
Eg. explain how it will mentally affect and stress you to study something you don’t like for years.
7. Pick an appropriate time to discuss the matter with your parents
Make sure they are in a good mood and they are not upset with you for any recent happenings.
Ensure they are not multitasking and that they are going to be all-ears during your pitch.
Make sure they don’t have anything to attend to anytime soon as you will want to reach a conclusion with them at the end of that discussion ideally.
8. Mentally Prepare yourself
Now that you have organised your points and arranged a time to speak with your parents, it is time to mentally prepare yourself 🙂
Key things to take note when you are discussing with your parents:
- Stay patient.
- Be open minded and listen to their points as well.
- Don’t be in a hurry to argue back. Sometimes you will have to accept the validity of their point and come up with a better rebuttal.
- Never get angry at any point of time.
- Don’t be passive aggressive when you are rebutting their points.
- Show your maturity by being calm & composed so that they will take you seriously.
9. During the PITCH: when you are convincing your parents
Sometimes, letting them know what you are passionate about is not enough.
For me, I had to explain to my parents the importance of pursuing my passion. I told them that no matter how hard I try I will not be able to succeed and be the top student for something I am not passionate about. I told them that passion energizes me and promised them that I will do my very best if they let me pursue what I wanted.
Do also explain to them your idea of success and happiness. Parents want the best for you – always. So, if you are able to convince them that whatever you want to do will make you happy and successful, you will win 🙂
Give them the confidence that you know what you are doing (this is why preparation is super important!)
You should also be fine with making “deals” and compromises with your parents.
Eg. “let me try for one year if I don’t succeed, I will do as you say”
If all else fails, try convincing for a similar course. If you want to do business management but your parents refuse, try asking for economics or finance.
Remember that this is a 2-way communication and you have to be okay with compromises.
Final words
Whether you are able to convince your parents or not, just remember that all things happen for a reason. So, don’t be too heartbroken and disappointed. But I still want to wish you all the best!
This guide will work for convincing your parents about literally everything else too! But if you want to read something that is about convincing your parents in a general context, you can read this.
How to convince your parents to get you anything you want.
If you are a student, you may also want to read some of my top blogposts:
Join the Highly Basic Mail List to get notified of blogposts like this. This is surely a list you will want to join if you are a HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT or a COLLEGE STUDENT!
FAQ about convincing your parents regarding your educational journey:
How to tell your parents about your career choice?
The above guide is applicable to convincing your parents almost anything. Nevertheless, here are the steps:
- Research about your career choice
- List the pros & cons of the career choice you have chosen
- Organise your points clearly by predicting the questions your parents may ask you
- Structure your argument with Ethos, Pathos & Logos
- Mentally prepare yourself to not get angry at any point of time
- Be okay with compromising.
How do I convince my parents to let me go to a college away from home?
If your parents don’t allow you to go to a college far away, it might be because they want you to live close to them. In that case, promise them on how you will put in effort to maintain your family relationships. Eg. coming over ever holidays, facetiming every week, etc.
Another reason might be that they don’t trust you enough to live by yourself without their physical support. In that case, you will need to give them the confidence that you can live by yourself. Handle house chores and keep your bedroom clean. Things like this will help them understand that you are mature enough to live by yourself to study at a college far away from home.
How can I convince my parents to let me study at the university I want?
Do your research on why the university you are suggesting is better. Explain why the university will be a good fit for you. Maybe the culture of the university resonates with your values. Explain to them that even though the university might be further away/more expensive, it is a tradeoff you are willing to make.
How do I convince my parents to let me study something unrelated to healthcare?
Explain to them why the industry is not suitable for you. Talk about yourself. Tell them your interests and why they align with other industries instead. Explain to them that you will be able to do better and succeed in something that you are more suited in.
How can I convince my parents that I do not need to go to college?
Make sure you have a solid plan if you do not want to go to college. College is essential for securing a better job. So, if you have an alternative way of achieving a similar amount of success or even more success without college, then you can go ahead with convincing your parents. You will have to explain that the several years in college will not be beneficial for you and how your route will be better for you in the long run.
What are my options if my parents are forcing me to take the a major they suggested that I don’t like?
One option is to convince them otherwise. For that, you will need to have another major in mind that you will like to pursue instead. Using the tips in this article, you will be able to do this. However, if you are still not able to convince them, another option is not try suggesting a similar course. Try compromising and deals with your parents.
How to convince your parents to let you choose a college degree that goes along with your passion
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